On Why It's Difficult to Return from Witchcamp

I spent a week at the B.C. Witchcamp. This is my sixth year of attending. Each year is a different experience and the return to this world is also different.

Witchcamp is a place where hearts and chakras are open. It's not so much that we all say, "okay, now we're going to be open", but more a process that occurs rapidly. People who have attended previous camps know what to expect, so return to this honest way of living quickly. Newcomers pick it up so quickly that it suggests that this honest way of living is the most natural way to be.

When I'm at camp I get to speak honestly how I'm feeling all of the time. For example, if I'm having a moment of fear, I can say so to whomever might be around me if I so desire. And my emotion is not only respected but honored. One day at camp I was walking up the stairs to the cabins. Standing at the top of the stairs was one of the other campers - a woman who I often found myself thinking was very beautiful. As I reached the top of the stairs I told her "I think you are one of the most beautiful women at camp". There was no expectation of response or necessary interaction. She accepted the compliment, thanked me, and we both carried on with our days.

Campers express love freely and easily without the fear that is often attached in the other world. If I feel love in the moment, I can tell the other person that I love them. Again, there's no expectation and so there's no fear of rejection. I don't require that the other person tell me that they love me, and they can freely do so or not, depending on how they feel in the moment. One day I was walking across the lawn and one of the fellows yelled at me "Shakti, have I told you today that I love you?" I responded that he hadn't, so he shouted "I love you Shakti". And I yelled back that it made me happy that he loved me and I loved him, too.

People are not afraid to touch each other. Touching is consensual, kind, and loving. Every day I was hugged good morning, good afternoon, and good night. By many different people. I held hands and touched hair and backs and arms. I cuddled on couches and floors and in doorways under awnings. There is always an element of sexual energy running throughout - but not sex that's rude and disrespectful. It's sexual energy that is the life force that we all share. If I touch someone and consensually we agree to become sexual, then we can. Likewise, if I touch someone, and we both just like the affection, there's no expectation or anxiety about what might happen next. And if there is, the space is such that we can just talk about it.

Coming out of camp, means that I re-enter a world of fear. It means that people are afraid to touch each other for fear that the touch will be misinterpreted or misunderstood. People can't speak honestly about their emotions where ever they go because there's so much judgment to be faced. I feel isolated and alone - lost without my tribe. I go months without someone telling me they love me. I can go weeks without being touched in a meaningful way. I can only tell a few people that I love them - no matter how much love I feel.

One of the tasks given us when we attend camp is to "bring the magic out into the world". This is a common message in many types of mysticism now. Learn what we need to learn, and then bring it out into the world to pass it on. But I don't know how to pass on a message of unconditional acceptance and love. I don't quite know how to live out here as openly as I do in camp. I find myself in a place of grief that is so contradictory to the joy I experienced when I was at camp.