Mortality. The Merriam Webster Dictionary reminds us that being mortal means that we are subject to death. Mortality, then, means the state or quality of being mortal. To face my mortality means that I face the fact that I am subject to death.
This fact of life has brutally forced its way into my consciousness these past ten days with the very sudden passing of one of my co-workers. One day he was alive. And now he's dead. There is virtually nothing left of him on this earth. Except the genetics that he has passed on to his daughter and the memories implanted into the brains of those that knew him.
And what of me? And my mortality? Oh, it's not that I haven't thought of it before. Like most people, I've contemplated my own life and death. A couple of years ago I had one of those "cancer scares". I had a couple of weeks to consider what it might be like to be dying. To consider what my mark on the world might be. What do I leave behind? The answers then, as now, remain somewhat bleak. Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself or anything, but aside from all of the wonderful memories people will have of me and the genetics that I pass on to my son, what have I left the world that is of any real value? And is it important to leave the world with something other than my memory?
When I go camping I often take younger children with me - nieces, nephews, etc. I try to teach these kids to leave the place we are staying in better condition than when we arrivrd. We try to pick up all of our own trash, plus that left behind by others. We try to ensure that the place is pristine for the next people to use our spot. If I were to die tonight, will I have left the world in a better place than when I arrived? Some might say yes, but it's difficult to nail down such a concept when one hasn't accomplished anything specific.
Yes, it's true that I touch the hearts of people whenever I can. I try to be kind and thoughtful and to do good deeds. I try to model compassion and kindness. I have been politically active but I haven't been successful in stopping the bodies that I've tried to stop. It's true that, as a child protection worker, I've rescued children from horrendous living situations.
The question causes me to contemplate what more I can do. I feel even more driven to complete my education so that I can have a greater impact on others that I'm working with. I feel even more driven to write the things that I need to say so that my words will outlast my body.
And it occurs to me that in this way I "cling" to life. In this way I attach myself to my desire to make a difference in the world. Ahhh, the trappings of being mortal.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The following is the eulogy for my Grandfather, written and presented by my brother, Dennis Allen.
" Thomas William Allen, better known as "Slim" was born on July 13, 1917 at Indian Head, Saskatchewan.
In 1931, Grandpa left Indian Head and headed West. With a quick count of years, you'll realize that Grandpa was only 14 years old when he was ready to take on the world in the pains of the Depression.
Grandpa had many stories of that era of his life. Even as a young man, he could realize the stresses that the Depression put on people, but as a young man with no responsibilities, left him with many good memories. The story he liked was when he was riding the rails and fell asleep on top of the car. When the train stopped it was foggy and when he woke up he thought he had died and thought this must be Heaven. Then the train moved, he realized he was still on the car. he got off at the next station, went inside and curled up on a bench and went to sleep. When he woke up there was his brother. They visited for a bit and then both went their own ways.
After those years he took to cowboying in Southern Alberta. For a brief stint he teamed up with world champion Pete Knight on the rodeo circuit, but Pete convinced Grandpa he was too tall to be a rodeo cowboy and to find a different calling.
So, Grandpa took to working ranches in the South. It was then that he signed on at the Beaver Camp Ranch at Nanton where he met a beautiful lady named Violet Forsythe. It was February 9, 1939 that they married and began their 65 year partnership.
In September 1939 Grandpa enlisted in the army and it was during his service years that Norman, Bob, and Ernie came along. Grandpa served with the 4th Armored Division in England, France, Holland, Belgium, and Germany. These are years that changed men forever. The things that they seen and did took the possibility of a normal life and world away from them forever.
I've had the pleasure of many hours of stories but the one picture that stuck in my head the most is that through all that hell, Grandpa did have the habit of dwelling mostly on the good times.
In September 1945 Grandpa came home, packed up his family, and headed to a farm near Berwyn. Once again the family grew with the arrival of Shirley and Mary.
I was quite surprised to learn how community minded my Grandpa was through those years. He was one of the founding members of the North Peace Stampede Association. He was on the Agriculture Service Board. He was instrumental in the start of the 4-H in the area. He was a founding member of the North Peace Feeder Association and served as a supervisor. Every cattle industry needs a place to market their product, so he became a shareholder in the Berwyn Auction Mart. He also in those early days, had the pound for stray livestock. He was a very active member in the Legion in those years. this is very understandable for many vets found comfort with their peers because they understood the world each other had served. Grandpa was also an avid volunteer. I remember hearing stories as I was growing up of him "cleaning out" the Lac Cardinal Hall...
In 1971 Grandpa and Grandma sold the farm to my parents, Bob and Lois. The ranch lands of the south called them again. With his knowledge of horses and cattle, and his military training this gave him the ability to give men directions. He took jobs as ranch foreman at Pincher Creek, Claresholm, and Turner Valley.
Both him and Grandma had a love for the south and many good friends that kept in touch through the years. My sisters and I had the privilege of staying down there during the summer holidays. Many stories and adventures came out of those years but one he could never quite live down was a night of socializing when in the wee hours of the morning it was decided that the skunk that wandered in the garage should be shot. Well, through blurry eyes, Grandpa shot himself a deep freeze. The skunk perfumed the garage and everything in the deep freeze was ruined. We're not too sure of the outcome of the skunk, though.
In 1980 they returned to the Grande Prairie area where his love for horses continued. He was instrumental in the foundation of PARDS and continued with them for the next 12 years.
A horse sale wasn't really a horse sale unless slim was wandering around somewhere, whether he was buying, selling or just passing judgment on a crop of colts. His opinion was valued by all. He trained horses until he was 80 years young and then decided the ground was too darned hard. Grandpa could get a horse to go just about anywhere. He rode through the Sutherland Inn on one occasion. When he broke his shoulder he was riding a gree horse and he had roped a calf. Well that horse let into bucking and it bucked right into the box of a pick-up truck when they went their separate directions. I could just imagine the doctor's face when he heard that story....an old cowboy who thought he was riding a bucking horse in the back of a pick-up, let alone one that was green.
1992 Grandpa was honored with the title of Wagon Master for the Grande Prairie Stompede. In his 86th summer I had the privilege of going riding with him for his last time. It was a very good day.
Grandpa was predeceased by one grandson, also by the name of Thomas, four brothers, ken, Percy, cliff, and Jack and four sisters, Bell, Bea, Elva, and Emma. In 2004 he lost his partner in life, Violet. His five kids are here. He has 16 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren.
All men die, but very few really live and that's what we need to celebrate today - a life well lived."
" Thomas William Allen, better known as "Slim" was born on July 13, 1917 at Indian Head, Saskatchewan.
In 1931, Grandpa left Indian Head and headed West. With a quick count of years, you'll realize that Grandpa was only 14 years old when he was ready to take on the world in the pains of the Depression.
Grandpa had many stories of that era of his life. Even as a young man, he could realize the stresses that the Depression put on people, but as a young man with no responsibilities, left him with many good memories. The story he liked was when he was riding the rails and fell asleep on top of the car. When the train stopped it was foggy and when he woke up he thought he had died and thought this must be Heaven. Then the train moved, he realized he was still on the car. he got off at the next station, went inside and curled up on a bench and went to sleep. When he woke up there was his brother. They visited for a bit and then both went their own ways.
After those years he took to cowboying in Southern Alberta. For a brief stint he teamed up with world champion Pete Knight on the rodeo circuit, but Pete convinced Grandpa he was too tall to be a rodeo cowboy and to find a different calling.
So, Grandpa took to working ranches in the South. It was then that he signed on at the Beaver Camp Ranch at Nanton where he met a beautiful lady named Violet Forsythe. It was February 9, 1939 that they married and began their 65 year partnership.
In September 1939 Grandpa enlisted in the army and it was during his service years that Norman, Bob, and Ernie came along. Grandpa served with the 4th Armored Division in England, France, Holland, Belgium, and Germany. These are years that changed men forever. The things that they seen and did took the possibility of a normal life and world away from them forever.
I've had the pleasure of many hours of stories but the one picture that stuck in my head the most is that through all that hell, Grandpa did have the habit of dwelling mostly on the good times.
In September 1945 Grandpa came home, packed up his family, and headed to a farm near Berwyn. Once again the family grew with the arrival of Shirley and Mary.
I was quite surprised to learn how community minded my Grandpa was through those years. He was one of the founding members of the North Peace Stampede Association. He was on the Agriculture Service Board. He was instrumental in the start of the 4-H in the area. He was a founding member of the North Peace Feeder Association and served as a supervisor. Every cattle industry needs a place to market their product, so he became a shareholder in the Berwyn Auction Mart. He also in those early days, had the pound for stray livestock. He was a very active member in the Legion in those years. this is very understandable for many vets found comfort with their peers because they understood the world each other had served. Grandpa was also an avid volunteer. I remember hearing stories as I was growing up of him "cleaning out" the Lac Cardinal Hall...
In 1971 Grandpa and Grandma sold the farm to my parents, Bob and Lois. The ranch lands of the south called them again. With his knowledge of horses and cattle, and his military training this gave him the ability to give men directions. He took jobs as ranch foreman at Pincher Creek, Claresholm, and Turner Valley.
Both him and Grandma had a love for the south and many good friends that kept in touch through the years. My sisters and I had the privilege of staying down there during the summer holidays. Many stories and adventures came out of those years but one he could never quite live down was a night of socializing when in the wee hours of the morning it was decided that the skunk that wandered in the garage should be shot. Well, through blurry eyes, Grandpa shot himself a deep freeze. The skunk perfumed the garage and everything in the deep freeze was ruined. We're not too sure of the outcome of the skunk, though.
In 1980 they returned to the Grande Prairie area where his love for horses continued. He was instrumental in the foundation of PARDS and continued with them for the next 12 years.
A horse sale wasn't really a horse sale unless slim was wandering around somewhere, whether he was buying, selling or just passing judgment on a crop of colts. His opinion was valued by all. He trained horses until he was 80 years young and then decided the ground was too darned hard. Grandpa could get a horse to go just about anywhere. He rode through the Sutherland Inn on one occasion. When he broke his shoulder he was riding a gree horse and he had roped a calf. Well that horse let into bucking and it bucked right into the box of a pick-up truck when they went their separate directions. I could just imagine the doctor's face when he heard that story....an old cowboy who thought he was riding a bucking horse in the back of a pick-up, let alone one that was green.
1992 Grandpa was honored with the title of Wagon Master for the Grande Prairie Stompede. In his 86th summer I had the privilege of going riding with him for his last time. It was a very good day.
Grandpa was predeceased by one grandson, also by the name of Thomas, four brothers, ken, Percy, cliff, and Jack and four sisters, Bell, Bea, Elva, and Emma. In 2004 he lost his partner in life, Violet. His five kids are here. He has 16 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren.
All men die, but very few really live and that's what we need to celebrate today - a life well lived."
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Community
This is an essay I wrote about community for one of my classes.
We gather together. Perhaps it's around a table, or in a circle on the floor. We might bring food to share a pot luck and to feed each other. We gather to discuss serious business, or to offer healing and support to one another. We gather to organize ourselves for political reasons. We gather to celebrate ritual. We gather. And in the gathering we begin to coalesce into community. Community. A powerful word evoking so many images and thoughts.
As a displaced farm girl, I came to desire a clearly defined community. I grew up in a Northern rural community alongside the children of the people my parents grew up with. It was not an unusual experience to hear stories of my own childhood from people who could just as easily tell stories about my parents' growing up years. In this community there were events that drew the farmers and townspeople together on a regular basis: the Farmers' Day Picnic, the Boxing Day Dance, the Berwyn Fiesta, the North Peace Stampede. All were events that had been happening since before I was born. They were a steady part of community activities and they allowed a place for people to gather outside of the normal day to day activities to celebrate themselves, their friends, and their history.
Is a community where we live? Is it where we grew up? Can it be intentional? Perhaps it is all of these things. In this paper I will explore more thoroughly the meaning of community. I hope to more closely examine what it means to call oneself a member of a community. I will use my own experiences within a variety of communities to more closely examine my beliefs about community.
The concept of community is not a new one. People have been gathering together for thousands of years for various purposes, and have been doing so in a very “natural” kind of way. Communities seem to serve some benefit for the people that belong to them. Even if individuals do not necessarily recognize the immediate benefit of belonging, usually some benefit is gained.
Increasingly, along with geographical communities, people have been joining together in intentional kinds of communities. We see this particularly in religious communities. My sister and her family belong to an Evangelical Christian community. The people in this community have a strong bond. Many of the members of the community are involved in church activities two or three evenings per week in addition to Sunday attendance in the church. Members form friendships outside of church activities and children begin to play together. Relationship development is strongly encouraged within the community through formalized family groupings. Eventually, community members even marry within the church. This type of community is well structured, with many planned activities led by community leaders.
When my son was young, he attended an alternate school program called “Caraway School”. This was another intentional community. Within the Caraway program, parents became very active participants of the school curriculum. They co-facilitated learning with teachers. They led study groups and field trips. In so doing, the children developed relationships with other parents within the community. Some parents did naturally form friendships with each other, however relationship activities seemed to function primarily within the regular school hours. There were not a lot of planned extra-curricular activities that encouraged relationship development outside of the school. Nor was this seen necessarily as an important function.
Definitions
Communities can be described and defined in a number of different ways. The Funk and Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary (1989) defines community in the following manner:
“1. A group of people living together or in one locality and subject to the same laws, having common interests, characteristics, etc: a rural community; religious community. 2. The district or area in which they live. 3. The public; society in general. 4. Common ownership or participation. 5. Identity or likeness: community of interests.” (pg 274).
To talk effectively about community, it would seem to be necessary to try to know exactly what one was trying to say. However, the definitions, themselves, can be problematic and restrictive just by the nature of definitions. In Rhetoric and Cultures: Contextualizing Discourse Communities, communities are described as “a group of people who are socially interdependent” (prgph 1); “people who have been able to accept and transcend their differences” (prgph 2); and “group of people lined by a communications structure supporting discussion and collective action” (prgrph 4). They seem to suggest that a community must be one thing or another.
Ife (2002), in his text on community development for social workers, suggests that it's less the definition of what community is and more the mysterious promise of what a community might be that helps us understand its importance in our society (pg 14). He discusses a nation wide study completed in Australia in 1990 that demonstrated that many citizens seemed to be experiencing a loss of what they believed to have been “community” in the past, but that no longer existed. The study seems to suggest that the general population believed that “rebuilding community structures was one of their highest priorities for their future” (pg 14).
Defining a community is less important to me than actually talking about what the function of a community is. As I moved through a couple of different crises in my own life, I found that those people who surrounded me were the ones that I considered to be part of my Spiritual Community. These were the people who brought food and fellowship to my door, and who took me in when I needed comforting. These day to day “duties” of friendship are, perhaps, the substance of a community.
A community is a group of people. It is the individuals that make the community stronger. I was fortunate enough to be present and participant to the formation of my own spiritual community in Edmonton. At that time there were loose affiliations of people doing similar things, but we called ourselves together for a meeting to begin to formally structure a community. In that room, at that time, we allowed ourselves to dream about what we hoped to create – for ourselves, for each other, and for the broader community in both the city and the province.
Over the years of our development, the concept of community has shifted and been recreated in different ways. The lofty goals and dreams have not yet been produced. Some members of the community have withdrawn; conflicts have arisen and been both appropriately and inappropriately dealt with. Those of us that were present at the beginning and continue to be present today are beginning to define our community differently from where we had initially started. Our idealism has been tempered to some degree. This doesn't appear to have been a negative result; instead it's allowed us to view ourselves, and our capabilities with more realism.
What is more evident to me now, however, is that our loose use of the term “community” made room for misinterpretations and misunderstandings. This, in turn, created false expectations for some people. Their needs weren't met, therefore they became disillusioned, frustrated, or angry. Perhaps, if we had recognized this earlier in our formation, we might have lost fewer members.
It is in this realization that I return to the value and importance of a working definition of community. Not one that restricts, but instead, one that allows a group to grow into itself. Perhaps the definition becomes a container; and the container, itself, something that is malleable. The definition grows into the community instead of the community growing into the definition.
References
English 521. (Spring 2002). Rhetoric and Cultures: Contextualizing Discourse Communities. http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/. Retrieved October 27, 2007 from http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/~sg7/eng521spring02/communitydefinitions.html
(1989) Funk & Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary. Markham, Ontario: Fitzhenry and Whiteside Limited.
Ife, J. (2002). Community Development: Community-Based Alternatives in an Age of Globalisation, 2nd edition. New South Wales, Australia: Pearson Education Australia Pty Limited.
We gather together. Perhaps it's around a table, or in a circle on the floor. We might bring food to share a pot luck and to feed each other. We gather to discuss serious business, or to offer healing and support to one another. We gather to organize ourselves for political reasons. We gather to celebrate ritual. We gather. And in the gathering we begin to coalesce into community. Community. A powerful word evoking so many images and thoughts.
As a displaced farm girl, I came to desire a clearly defined community. I grew up in a Northern rural community alongside the children of the people my parents grew up with. It was not an unusual experience to hear stories of my own childhood from people who could just as easily tell stories about my parents' growing up years. In this community there were events that drew the farmers and townspeople together on a regular basis: the Farmers' Day Picnic, the Boxing Day Dance, the Berwyn Fiesta, the North Peace Stampede. All were events that had been happening since before I was born. They were a steady part of community activities and they allowed a place for people to gather outside of the normal day to day activities to celebrate themselves, their friends, and their history.
Is a community where we live? Is it where we grew up? Can it be intentional? Perhaps it is all of these things. In this paper I will explore more thoroughly the meaning of community. I hope to more closely examine what it means to call oneself a member of a community. I will use my own experiences within a variety of communities to more closely examine my beliefs about community.
The concept of community is not a new one. People have been gathering together for thousands of years for various purposes, and have been doing so in a very “natural” kind of way. Communities seem to serve some benefit for the people that belong to them. Even if individuals do not necessarily recognize the immediate benefit of belonging, usually some benefit is gained.
Increasingly, along with geographical communities, people have been joining together in intentional kinds of communities. We see this particularly in religious communities. My sister and her family belong to an Evangelical Christian community. The people in this community have a strong bond. Many of the members of the community are involved in church activities two or three evenings per week in addition to Sunday attendance in the church. Members form friendships outside of church activities and children begin to play together. Relationship development is strongly encouraged within the community through formalized family groupings. Eventually, community members even marry within the church. This type of community is well structured, with many planned activities led by community leaders.
When my son was young, he attended an alternate school program called “Caraway School”. This was another intentional community. Within the Caraway program, parents became very active participants of the school curriculum. They co-facilitated learning with teachers. They led study groups and field trips. In so doing, the children developed relationships with other parents within the community. Some parents did naturally form friendships with each other, however relationship activities seemed to function primarily within the regular school hours. There were not a lot of planned extra-curricular activities that encouraged relationship development outside of the school. Nor was this seen necessarily as an important function.
Definitions
Communities can be described and defined in a number of different ways. The Funk and Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary (1989) defines community in the following manner:
“1. A group of people living together or in one locality and subject to the same laws, having common interests, characteristics, etc: a rural community; religious community. 2. The district or area in which they live. 3. The public; society in general. 4. Common ownership or participation. 5. Identity or likeness: community of interests.” (pg 274).
To talk effectively about community, it would seem to be necessary to try to know exactly what one was trying to say. However, the definitions, themselves, can be problematic and restrictive just by the nature of definitions. In Rhetoric and Cultures: Contextualizing Discourse Communities, communities are described as “a group of people who are socially interdependent” (prgph 1); “people who have been able to accept and transcend their differences” (prgph 2); and “group of people lined by a communications structure supporting discussion and collective action” (prgrph 4). They seem to suggest that a community must be one thing or another.
Ife (2002), in his text on community development for social workers, suggests that it's less the definition of what community is and more the mysterious promise of what a community might be that helps us understand its importance in our society (pg 14). He discusses a nation wide study completed in Australia in 1990 that demonstrated that many citizens seemed to be experiencing a loss of what they believed to have been “community” in the past, but that no longer existed. The study seems to suggest that the general population believed that “rebuilding community structures was one of their highest priorities for their future” (pg 14).
Defining a community is less important to me than actually talking about what the function of a community is. As I moved through a couple of different crises in my own life, I found that those people who surrounded me were the ones that I considered to be part of my Spiritual Community. These were the people who brought food and fellowship to my door, and who took me in when I needed comforting. These day to day “duties” of friendship are, perhaps, the substance of a community.
A community is a group of people. It is the individuals that make the community stronger. I was fortunate enough to be present and participant to the formation of my own spiritual community in Edmonton. At that time there were loose affiliations of people doing similar things, but we called ourselves together for a meeting to begin to formally structure a community. In that room, at that time, we allowed ourselves to dream about what we hoped to create – for ourselves, for each other, and for the broader community in both the city and the province.
Over the years of our development, the concept of community has shifted and been recreated in different ways. The lofty goals and dreams have not yet been produced. Some members of the community have withdrawn; conflicts have arisen and been both appropriately and inappropriately dealt with. Those of us that were present at the beginning and continue to be present today are beginning to define our community differently from where we had initially started. Our idealism has been tempered to some degree. This doesn't appear to have been a negative result; instead it's allowed us to view ourselves, and our capabilities with more realism.
What is more evident to me now, however, is that our loose use of the term “community” made room for misinterpretations and misunderstandings. This, in turn, created false expectations for some people. Their needs weren't met, therefore they became disillusioned, frustrated, or angry. Perhaps, if we had recognized this earlier in our formation, we might have lost fewer members.
It is in this realization that I return to the value and importance of a working definition of community. Not one that restricts, but instead, one that allows a group to grow into itself. Perhaps the definition becomes a container; and the container, itself, something that is malleable. The definition grows into the community instead of the community growing into the definition.
References
English 521. (Spring 2002). Rhetoric and Cultures: Contextualizing Discourse Communities. http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/. Retrieved October 27, 2007 from http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/~sg7/eng521spring02/communitydefinitions.html
(1989) Funk & Wagnalls Canadian College Dictionary. Markham, Ontario: Fitzhenry and Whiteside Limited.
Ife, J. (2002). Community Development: Community-Based Alternatives in an Age of Globalisation, 2nd edition. New South Wales, Australia: Pearson Education Australia Pty Limited.
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